Rants

In defense of brunch

It’s late on a Friday afternoon and I have the weekend on my mind. As usual my stomach is making most of the decisions round here and I wonder what treats I might ingest this weekend. Why does it instill such indecision and then sudden outrage? The Brunch Menu.

Badd Egg, http://www.animatormag.com


Culinary capital of the world my arse. Why is it the same tired egg dishes, french toast and pancakes in every restaurant in NY on the weekends? I know you’re capable of good even great food. Your weekday lunch menus so tempting, alas I can’t get out for long lunches (or even in the vicinity) during the week. So why do you short change me with the same dull brunch menu as every other proprietor on the weekend? What about a compromise. You can serve brunch on Saturday or Sunday, just not both.

btw. eggs are not just for weekend brunches (even under a steak). The French and ovolacto-vegetarians travelling through the EU know the joy of a beautifully cooked fluffy omelette at dinner as well… mon Dieu!

Oh then the drink options. Mimosas or a Bloody Mary aka overpriced cheap sparkling wine over watery orange juice or heavily spiced tomato juice over cheap vodka (or some other spirit). Aren’t we in the middle of a cocktail revolution? Sure an espresso martini sounds great in principal but is a bit much at midday. Something to help ease you into a lazy day can’t be difficult to shake, stir or muddle up.

Dear friends,  I’m not deliberately being antisocial. I just can’t bear the idea of facing a plate of eggs benedict or a whimsical riff on it, it’s still poached eggs and a fucking hollandaise sauce. So yeah, I’d just prefer to meet you over lunch.

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Visible undershirts

There is something about seeing an undershirt creeping over the open neck of a business shirt that really irks me, it’s like the male equivalent of a VPL. I’m referring specifically to a visible crew neck t-shirt under a business/dress shirt. There are circumstances where they’re acceptable (though under a polo or t-shirt… seriously?). I’m not questioning the need for an undershirt, unless you don’t sweat ever they are a necessity .

In this modern age of business casual attire, the suits don’t often wear ties any more. It looks so sloppy, you may as well have the shirt tail hanging out (which they sometimes do). There’s a very simple solution fellas, a v-neck undershirt. And another thing, it should be white. A visible coloured undershirt is an even greater blight.

For the guys who like to have two buttons undone you could probably get away with a really deep V that are quite popular amongst the hipsters these days. But baring that much chest at work is inappropriate and the topic for another rant, so do that button up! An undershirt isn’t a fashion statement or accessory and should remain unseen as should that chest hair Mr. two+ buttons undone.

Maybe it’s time to resort to full business get up. Again though most guys really can’t get that right and an ill fitting suit may be an even greater crime. Mothers/wives/girlfriends/sisters how can you let us guys out of the house in the morning?

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HFCS

I recently finished reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma so seeing the above ad a few nights ago was timely. High Fructose Corn Syrup being vilified in much the same way as trans fats. I guess the corn growers and refiners of America have been rallying to change the public perception of HFCS, checkout http://www.hfcsfacts.com for some more of the ‘facts’.

Is it evil and bad for you? Probably not but they said the same about cigarettes didn’t they? OK that was a little incendiary… Too much of any sugar is bad, so HFCS probably have gotten a bad rap. The premise that it’s made from corn and is therefore ‘natural’ is far fetched. It’s quite a leap considering how much it’s processed to go from corn to HFCS. Search google for ‘high fructose corn syrup’ and you’ll get countless articles in respected media outlets as well as a lot of conjecture warning of the dangers, some of it even backed by scientific research. The stuff is in almost everything though, particularly processed foods. Supermarket bread here is so sickly sweet it’s almost like eating cake, I guess people have developed a sweet tooth over the years.

I’m prone to a bit of propaganda was interested to read in ‘The Omnivore’s Dilemma’ how huge an industry has spawned from commodity corn. Corn has infiltrated so much of the food chain as there became such a glut of the crop which is so heavily subsidised by the US government. People keep growing the stuff despite the surplus which drives down the price, the solution to maintain their incomes? Grow more corn!

There’s been an increase in obesity in the US loosely linked to when HFCS became widely used in industrially produced foods. People take accountability for what you eat. No doubt the corporates have had a play in a lot of this, but if you drink litres of soda a day what do you expect? The real victim has to be the environment. The fossil fuels needed to produce, move and process corn is vast. The damage caused by farmers toiling the same land and chemical fertilizers used to maintain output is disheartening. The book is well worth a read, I liked that it challenged the notion of “organic” produce too, that’s really a rant for another day…

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Excess baggage

What is with double bagging everything? People everywhere look at you funny when you ask for no bag. They look at you even more oddly here if you’re a spaz like me forget a reusable shopping bag and ask not to have in a double bag. Seriously it’s a 12 pack of bog rolls. No I don’t need a bag. If I did I certainly wouldn’t need two oversized carrier bags to get it home.

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Things that are wrong: Crocs

Crocs are offensive. They turned up a couple of years ago and i thought they’d go away if i ignored them. They didn’t. Sure they’re popularity may be waning yet they still haunt me.. in shops, on the streets, on children… did no one stop to think about the poor innocent children?!? Aren’t they just jelly sandals slightly masculated?

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